Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.

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You buy them a dress with pockets.


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My 18yo just gave me access to his private Twitter account. I’m not sure if I’m mortified or proud. I need 15 minutes and the Urban Dictionary.


Me: Hey look in the water, there’s a bloodstained oar

Friend: That’s foreboding

Me: Damn it Gary I know what they’re for, stop patronizing me


Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, social shame and everyone thinking you’re an idiot


me: my phone is always on silent

them: don’t you miss calls?

me: yes 🙂


Why do parents train babies to peek with the game peekaboo but then spend the remaining childhood telling them not to peek?