@TweetsByTheTony: Eating some turkey? Put gravy on it. Mashed potatoes dry? Try gravy. Headache? Shot of gravy. Depressed? More gravy. Lost a limb? Gra
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@JediGigi: Him: Brunch tomorrow? Me: No, I'll be asleep. Him: What time will you be awake? Me: I don't understand the question.
@TheHyyyype: mom: *holding up baggie she found in my room* what the hell is this? me: uhh that's called marijuana mom: i know what it is, i mean why do you have it me: to get high, jesus christ mom you said you knew what it was
@ceejoyner: Original plans for Mt Rushmore had the mouths carved open so they would scream out bats at the setting sun then eat them again at dawn.