@Cpin42: Even the great philosophers made mistakes. Aristotle, for example, believed that groove was in the brain.
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@pleatedjeans: My dream job is a 7-11 hot dog just rolling there endlessly in a zen state of warmth
@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
@Ygrene: The best natural phenomenon is when a species lovingly accepts an orphan of another species, like how my fries have accepted this onion ring
@FU_TangClan: Wife: What are you doing today? Me: Just gonna scroll Twitter W: WHAT ABOUT OUR SON??? M: Nah he can't read