A load of falling lizards is called a blizzard, right??
Imguana see myself out
*Every coffee date*
Her: I’m studying Neuro-Molecular-Psychology. My emphasis is in reductive assimilation of the synapses.
Me: im curious about science too. like how do they make them blue skittles taste like cherry
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Him: Did you eat the last s’more?
Him: You’re lying.
Me: How do you know?
Him: Your pants are literally on fire.
[on a movie date]
me: wanna kiss
date: no thanks
me: *turning to the other person next to me* what about u
[high school reunion]
girl i had a major crush on: so what have you been up to?
me: oh you know just the usual astronaut stuff
girl: oh i–
me: hang on i need to take this *holding phone upside down* hi nasa. yes yes the moon. and planets, yes. not pluto tho haha. k luv u bye
Lay with me until everything crumbles and nothing but creeping ivy shields us from the incessant chatter of wandering cadavers. Bring snacks
Interviewer: what the hell are you wearing??
Me: *dressed as grim reaper* : they said dress for the job you want, so…..
If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies.
“Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets”
?????? ??? ????
???? ?? ? ???? ??????? ????
I’m going to take up vaping because I am tired of people taking me seriously.
The time between the nurse leaving the room and the doctor entering is for exploring and trying out as many tools as possible