Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
Everyone in “Star Wars”.
Everyone in “The Muppets”.
Everyone in “Game of Thrones”.
This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters.
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I still use my laptop to tweet. Also, I ride my horse through the shire to get to the blacksmith.
Stephen is a much nicer name than “hen from a previous marriage.”
[NASA press conf]
“good news: we found a cat on Mars”
REPORTER: & the bad news?
“[recalls Curiosity rover running it over] uh it’s sleeping”
Me: “Stay back! I’m an expert when it comes to karate!”
Me: “Karate is a martial art developed on the Ryukyu Islands.”
me & my mentally ill friends when we complete small tasks like getting up before noon & completing an assignment
Pooping on the clock is the small-scale revolt of the working class in preparation for the people’s revolution.
I don’t make the same mistake twice.
I make it at least 5-6 times to be sure.
I like to confuse people who give me the finger by responding with jazz hands.
“Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”
“Are you smarter than a 16 year old?”