@The_GetawayGirl: everyone telling you that you're beautiful on the Internet is an escaped convict.
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@SondraDeeMe: As he stealthily slid the paper with my balance on it, I nodded at my bank teller for protecting my 12.03$ from the 2 old women behind me.
@JermHimselfish: My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw.
@tchrquotes: There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith.
@DecantAndPour: I drink a glass of red wine a day for health benefits. The other 7 glasses are just for me.