“I don’t know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you and – oh sorry, wrong number.” – Liam Neeson in Mistaken
exec: So what do we think women want in fashion?
exec: Cold shoulder tops in pastels. Got it.
exec: Clothes with pre-made holes in delicate fabrics.
exec: Cut-outs in flabby areas. Good.
exec: Shapes that require new bras!
You Might Also Like
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog’s poop.
“DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU’RE IN THE JUNGLE GYM, BABY! AGES THREE TO NIIIIINNNNE!” – Axl Rose, playground monitor.
If I haven’t said something mildly offensive today I’m sorry and I promise to try harder
We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately.
does watever a spider can:
has two legs., he can talk.
wat kind of spider bit this guy
“What should we name this fruit?”
“Let’s not let Todd name any more fruits.”
My uncle Terry told me not to worry, that love would find a way, but on the other hand he once took a shit in a hammock
“Mounting debt” sounds way sexier than it is.
Your hands aren’t tied down when you’re at the dentist, you’re allowed to put your hands in his mouth too.