@LazyChank: Explained to my client that he shouldn't put "urgent" in the subject line of every email he sends. He now sends some as "urgent urgent".
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@kelkulus: Me: The Calvin and Hobbes movie was awesome! Her: Idiot, that was Life of Pi. Me: Whatever *gets in cardboard time machine, flies to Mars*
@Jake_Vig: In every artist's depiction of a meteor that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs, there's always one T-Rex looking up at it like "That can’t be good."
@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.