*do a little dance*
*make a little love*
*get kicked out of this funeral*
Facebook account for sale, friends included.
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I may be middle-aged but I still have the student loan debt of a much younger man.
[trying to climb out of beanbag chair] Divorce?
*wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke*
McDonald’s Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?
Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?
*dad throws ball over fence*
“I’ll get it son!”
*25 years later*
“Wow he must’ve thrown it far”
Pennies from heaven would actually be quite devastating.
Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeppity. Yep. Yeppers. Yep.
We’ll see. I don’t know. But, for sure! Maybe.
– me receiving an invitation of any kind
Went to the hospital to wish a pregnant lady giving birth a Happy Labor Day and she ripped my throat out 🙁