@brandynwiththey: Facebook account for sale, friends included.
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@l0ttiehall: Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision.
@AbbieEvansXO: Me: they’re my service bees Him: but they’re not trained. they attack everyone who gets close to you Me: they’re trained
@TweetPotato314: Interviewer: your resume says you’re an excellent waiter Me: Interviewer: Me: Interviewer: Me: Interviewer: holy shit you’re hired