@GrantTanaka

Facebook Mom: OMG I can’t believe my kid is a high schooler now
Me: me too, he was quite stupid

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@tillygirl3

All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies

Get their hands stuck

@pilau

My four year old sent me his first ever text from my wife’s phone and it’s such a great thing that he starts school on Monday

@truegritrumble

*trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors.

@BAKKOOONN

luke, thats a persons name. whys everybodys star wars name gotta be like, hoobie doodoo or seb neb or something

@jazmasta

Yeah baby, I’m the lead singer in a band. Well, more of a backing singer. More of a Drummer. Triangle player..Roadie. I Saw a band once.

@Lola_Areola

Accidentally picked up two traffic cones instead of my children again

@AimeeHelene1

Dad to kid: “Connor, eat your food!”
“Eat your food!”
“Eat your food!”
“Eat your food!”
Me: *turns around, eats all of kid’s food*

@LoveNLunchmeat

Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras.