S is my favorite letter because it changes biscuit to biscuits.
Familiarity with a stranger might mean they’re an old soul you knew in a former life.
But it’s more likely a sociopath.
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Am I the only one who just buys a new printer when the ink is gone? Also, does anyone want to make a sweet printer fort?
We could completely eliminate car thefts by making every car alarm sound like Hillary Clinton’s laugh.
“I feel like I got off on the wrong foot.” – Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance
If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, he was probably really freaked out when we started
Pants are for people with something to hide.
Friend: I’m not trying to butt heads with you, but…
Me: *dons helmet, tightens chin strap, braces for impact* BRING IT!
you’re supposed to save up 3 months salary to buy an airport sandwich
If women do the splits, do men do the banana splits?
If you vote for yourself, does something blue appear like when you pee in a pool?