ME: [slowly peeling back sock] It hurts so bad doc, is it gangrene?
DOCTOR: [leaning in with tweezers] Hmm, I see, it appears to be… a red Lego
FARMER: The storm destroyed half our crops
TRUMP: Have you thought about taking the existing crops and just sort of combing them over th
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30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her.
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The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.