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@MoshBalls: Farting in the steam room was a bad judgement call.
@schumoo: I’m not ashamed of my past. Well, except for that time I used the word snazzy.
@vineyille: After dinner the other husbands and I retire to the garage and silently take turns climbing my new ladder.
@stevevsninjas: If you tase an electrician, he only becomes more powerful.
@awkwardphilippe: [Pizza falls on the ground]
-Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds.
@EJGomez: employee: over 100 ppl were killed by the dinosaurs again
CEO: my God
CEO: what if we made a dinosaur theme park again lmao