@MoshBalls

Farting in the steam room was a bad judgement call.

You Might Also Like

@Home_Halfway

BOSS: Okay, let’s do this. What names are you pitching?
COWORKER: Hannah Montana
ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts
BOSS: Michael you’re fired

@Hadzilla

No thanks farting robot on the wall I’ll use the paper towels to dry my hands nice try though

@Sickayduh

Hey, guy who named the mustache

Hair lip was available

@lisa_curry

Me: Time to relax and get into bed!

The Internet: Wanna read something upsetting first?

Me: Yes, obviously.

@anerdonfire2

I’m not surprised I woke up with a mannequin after too much to drink. I am surprised though that I used a condom

@

“GO SPORTS!” -how I cheer for all sports

@joeljeffrey

My wife and I don’t often spend money on luxuries, but when we do, I’m glad it’s for something we can both enjoy like decorative pillows.

@Marlebean

Getting dressed,
Makeup is looking good,
Awesome hair day,
Feeling great about myself!

Put on my glasses….

Damn it!