@Dr_powpow: Like every good global citizen I've reduced my power consumption by 50% by running all my power off the neighbours while they're on vacation

@equinelover137: A guy just said he wants to know what I got "in the trunk" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard

@BridgetPhetasy: Please make sure my tombstone reads: wish you were here.

@ehchinoo: *looking under hood of car* "Well there's your problem" *removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*

@AmericanGent69: Me: *grins* Couldn’t help but notice you checking me out. Girl: Yeah, I’m a cashier at a grocery store. That’s my job.