The only thing we know for certain about Macron is that he is 39 years old and even that will probably change next year.
Him: do you like kids?
Me: no, I have 3.
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Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don’t think I’m hungry for lunch anymore. .
What I Say To 7:
“This is just between us”
What 7 Hears:
“Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse”
SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: would you like your receipt?
ME: no thank you i don’t want any proof that i’ve eaten here
Spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
ME: I’d like to buy some underwear.
ME: No, new please.
Doctor: I’m afraid you have very little time left
Me: oh no
Doctor: my next appointment is here
Me: ohhh jesus I thought
Doctor: he’s gonna help you make a will
This guy next to me thinks I’m flirting, but really I’m just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas
You guys are all saying that it’s a parody account that tweeted that she was offended when a guy opened a door for her but the same thing happened with me. I too held open a door for a lady she yelled at me and told me to get out of the ladies bathroom.
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