Fog is like lingerie for the sky.

You Might Also Like


wife: “just break it to him gently”
me: “ok ill try”
[tucking son in bed]
me: [opening story book] “once upon a time your grandma’s dead”


The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early.

Like father, like son.


Realtor: This house has a great location
Me: But what’s the square doggage?
Realtor: What
Me: *rubbing my temples* How many dogs can it fit?


Me: I love star wars movies
Friend: What’s your favourite line?
Me: Probably “aaaaarggh…Luke ya scurvy dog, I am yer fartha”
Friend: Sounds like a pirate copy


In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.