@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.

@Wakenbake77: Accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, went ahead and peed sitting down so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.

@climaxximus: therapist: you need to enjoy the little things me: like ants therapist: not exactly me: [nodding] baby ants

@djdarrellripley: Me: Hey, look, I can't stay long, I've got a cab downstairs. Her: You took a cab? Me: I'm gonna give it back!

@EvilPandaX: Things not too say before a 3some: Of Course we're going to wait for your friend, she's the hot one.