NOAH’S NEIGHBOR: whats that big wooden boat ur building
NOAH: it’s an ark
NOAH’S NEIGHBOR: idk looks like a boat to me
NOAH: well it’s an ark
NOAH’S NEIGHBOR: haha ok guy have fun with the boat
NOAH: have fun drowning
NOAH’S NEIGHBOR: what
For some reason, whenever anyone in my house gets a Lush bath bomb we all stand ceremoniously around the tub and quietly watch it dissolve. Today, a minute into colourful bubbling, my 11yo turns to me and whispers, “what the hell are we doing?”
You Might Also Like
Best observation on financial markets that anyone has ever made or will ever make:
There’s no point using Latin phrases if you don’t understand what they mean, and vice versa.
I’ve never understood why someone would rob a liquor store for the money.
Me: *Being strip searched*
Cop: The dancing really is not necessary
I’m missing the VMAs. Who’s losing? Is it music?
When you’re on a date that’s not going well, just start talking about genital psoriasis.
It’s funny how you become mom’s new favorite when your sibling is in jail.
if you’re a 28 year old who has snorted ketamine in an art gallery bathroom, it seems that you are not, in fact, “baby.” a baby wouldn’t do that
Neighbor: Hi buddy, how you doing this morning?
My 3 year old: Good. My mom puts heavy things on me at night so I can’t move or get out of bed.
A weighted blanket. We gave him a weighted blanket.