@Manda_like_wine: For some reason, whenever anyone in my house gets a Lush bath bomb we all stand ceremoniously around the tub and quietly watch it dissolve. Today, a minute into colourful bubbling, my 11yo turns to me and whispers, "what the hell are we doing?"
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@PhuckinCody: Even after seeing all of the Jurassic Park movies I still feel like a dinosaur theme park sounds like a really good idea
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.
@ilovepie84: I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait.
@jordan_stratton: You're not impressing anyone, server who didn't write down our orders. You're just making us anxious.