@BatBatshitcrazy

*forces square peg into round hole

Round hole: wrong hole.

You Might Also Like

@brynnester

Me: Have you heard about Stockholm Syndrome? Where the captor and the captive become BFF’s?

Kidnapper: You’ve been here 10 minutes?

Me: It stands for Best Friends Forever if you’re wondering

@TheOnlyMommaG

I Just found out there’s an all you can drink Tequila train in Mexico..so I guess this is goodbye guys!

@MafiaJoker78

I just want to take you out…

With an AK-47…

& you thought on a date…hahaha.

@BrokenDollMcGee

if I have learned anything from old movies,
you can’t shoot a tommy gun without laughing hysterically

@WhaJoTalkinBout

waitress: *showing me around the restaurant* welcome, is this your first time?

me: no no I’ve eaten food before

@badbanana

1) See laptop on empty table in crowded coffee shop. 2) Ask someone to watch it for you. 3) Leave before the owner returns.

@mattewe02

walking thru ikea thinking how friggin pricey vowels must be playing wheel of fortune in sweden