@theshamingofjay

Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it’s like I walked for no reason.

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@man_spach

It’s ok Apple users, I just woke up and found a surprise Nickelback album on my BlackBerry.

@9GAG

Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.

@MarfSalvador

[after giving cpr]
him: ??? ????? ?? ????
me: lol
him: ???? ??? ????
me: I inhaled helium first

@Freudianscript

It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.

@mamabirddiaries

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

@Malowbar

This was the Moment when twitter decided to double the Size of its Application.

@WritePlay

Wife: I can’t find my phone
Me: Want me to call it?
Wife: Sure, I –
Me: PHONE, HERE BOY

@Jandalize

Washing my hands to an entire Pink Floyd album.
That should do it.