Frankenstein’s monster is on a date.
Her: “So, are you religious?”
Him: “I’m part Catholic.”
Her: “On your father’s or mother’s side?”
Him: “Neither, it’s my left foot.”
#FrankensteinFriday #RubbishJokes
![]()
You Might Also Like
Her: How does she always know we’re taking her to the vet?
Him: I don’t know. Keep looking.![]()
My date didn’t go as planned and now I don’t know what to do with this kiddie pool full of nacho cheese.
[zombie movie set]
Director into megaphone: “We’re about to start rolling. Look alive people!”
*actors look around confused as heck*
I woke from a nap once and jumped in shock and freaked out the cat who ran off and was going crazy making weird noises trying to get away and was all confused… ok backstory… I don’t own a cat
Respond to every “How was your weekend?” today by staring off into the distance & whispering “So much blood…”
The lady from HR challenged me to name one of my boss’s good qualities and the best I could come up with is “he’s biodegradable”
If two parents sit down to help their child with three math problems at 7:00 PM, what time will daddy be sleeping on the couch tonight?
Careful…I’ve already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn’t end well for you.
honestly, i need both:
![]()
My son said, “If you had to lose one sense, what would it be?” Without missing a beat, my daughter said taste. Which would have been fine had we not been eating the dinner that I made.
Where’s my employee discount too?
![]()
3 asked if I remembered when she had a cough and I brought her snacks in bed and I asked if she was worried about getting a cough because of the pandemic and she said what pandemic can I just bring her snacks in bed
Priest: tell me your confessions
Me: I said the f word twice this week
Priest: [70% sure I stole his meatball sub from the church fridge] anything else
Eventually, everyone in Russia will fall out a window…
[Drug deal]
How do I know you’re not a cop
-If I was a cop would I do this?
*Starts breakdancing*
Thats not as much proof as you think it is
My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns so obviously I’m dying
Your baby’s cute. Not baby elephant cute, but still cute.
*prepares to cook vegetarian chili* *spills the beans* Whoa, I suppose you could call that.. *lowers shades with a spatula*.. Kidney failure
I fill the pantry with healthy snacks and then get mad when we don’t have any junk food in the house.
Satan: Welcome to hell, where it’s hot and never not! Any questions?
Me: Yeah, where’s the second circle? They’re expecting me.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
33, Male, Jerusalem. You?
i hate it when i eat a slice of bread and it grows into a bread tree in my stomach
Him: I’m a vegetarian
Me, holding a fork and licking my lips: I’m a humanitarian
Why is the floor squeaking upstairs; does the cat weigh that much? Jeezus I hope the cat weighs that much.
Me: I wish my toilet was sentient
Genie: hey fun fact if you wish for a therapist I won’t count it as one of the three
oh good, now I can stop drinking
![]()
DOCTOR: Have you been exercising for 30 minutes a day?
ME: Yes. I do The Robot to annoy my kids.
DOCTOR: That’s not…
ME: TECHNOBOT CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER HIS SICK MOVES, DOC!
Me: Where do you want to eat?
Her: Wherever you pick is fine.
Narrator: Wherever he picked was not fine.
*raises visor on knight helmet* Define “silly purchases,” Cheryl