Imagine having chills and then imagine those very chills multiplying. That’s what life is like for John Travolta
Friend: If you love cheeseburgers so much, why don’t you marry one?!
*looks at wife, wife shakes her head
Me: I’m not allowed
You Might Also Like
*Robot watches me vape*
Robot: mm yeah but swallow it
Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese.
DATE: Do you like sports?
ME: *nervously* Sure.
DATE: What’s your favorite sport?
ME: *panicking* Panicking.
Hmm… I think I’ll name this creature “Fly.”
what do you get when you cross an octopus with a human?
thrown in jail for public indecency and banned from the aquarium for life.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do…
I like to think I’m a nice guy, but I will throat punch anyone who tries to beat me to the buffet table. Sorry gram gram, but them’s the rules.
ladies say I’m a hamster in the sheets because I squeal when I’m uncomfortable and I leave small pellets in the bed
Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media.