I didn’t get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me
Friend: Just make sure you compliment her on something you’ve observed
[On a date]
Me: You’re really good at eating
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OUCH I HAVE A FOOT CRAMP
[Walks on toes]
Drink some water
[Crawls on knees]
[Lays on floor]
Tastes like chicken.
The biggest issue with mass immigration is all those people are going to make Europe too heavy and it will sink into the ocean, and the see-saw effect will raise the far east into the stratosphere and launch Chinese people into space.
Why is no one talking about this?
WEBSITE: You must be legal age to view this content. What year were you born?
ME AT 13: [Playing it safe] 623 BC
According to math, I’m broke
I haven’t been around a baby in so long I can’t even remember how to put their leash on.
Welcome to Insults ? Us, you sack of crap. Buy some stuff if you’re not too cheap. Maybe eat out of a garbage can. You’d probably like that
You cowards just love watching the NFL Draft while you’re all too chickenshit to go off and serve in the football yourselves.
Ice cream employee: I didn’t know you had kids! You always come in by yourself.
Kids: WHAT?! MOM!
It’s like she didn’t want a tip.