I don’t understand parents who have trouble saying no to their kids.
It’s literally my first instinct.
Friend said I was becoming antisocial. Ridiculous. You build one little moat and people jump to hasty conclusions.
You Might Also Like
Life is a suicide mission.
*Goes to bathroom
*Reaches down to unzip
*Discovers pants have been unzipped for the last 4 hours
*Starts wearing underwear
I will never tire of sending random messages like this to random numbers
Why do smurfs laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls ????
[family game night]
Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now?
Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock
Things I’ve learned on Twitter:
1. A Twitter Crush is not a soft drink
2. Naps rule
3. Pants are optional
4. Everybody hates Nickelback
gross i hate the word moist! give me a wet cake. give me a wet, damp cupcake
me to the dentist: can u make my teeth more how u say al dente
I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google.