I believe in “you’re stupid” at first sight.
Games are for those who like to restrict themselves arbitrarily to certain actions for a specified period of time in the hopes of “winning.”
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If Skyrim has taught me anything, it’s that you should always check people’s urns for gold. Don’t be afraid. Pull grandma off the mantle.
What I say:
Please don’t jump on the sofa arm.
What they hear:
Kids, this is a pommel horse. Enjoy.
Mom is closed.
I’m just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for.
Me: Why am I suddenly sick?
Friend: Probably the change in the Weather
Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*
FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.
I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like.
If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes.