Homeschooling, Day whatever: This school really needs a new janitor.
“Get off the phone”
“Wash your hands”
“Pull up your pants”
“Make me dinner”
My son runs a pretty tight ship in our household
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I teared up a little.
I get strippers, I get it.
There’s a difference between when a woman is furious and when she’s irate. It’s the difference between sleeping on the couch or in a casket.
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Sure she mainly used knife emojis but at least she replied to your text.
Me: I’ll have the chicken
Waiter: and how would you like the chicken prepared
Me: I dunno… maybe just tell it about the circle of life and how nothing lives forever
Cologne companies have no clue what really attracts women.
If they did, every bottle would smell like doughnuts.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
I like to stream documentaries about serial killers in public to avoid any idle chit chat.