Me: Would you remarry if I died?
Me: What?!? Would you at least WAIT awhile?
Wife: Depends. Are you dead because I killed you?
*gets eaten by a shark*
At funeral: “She died doing what she loved…*sob*…feeding the animals.”
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IT:have you deleted your cookies?
Me:yea the chocolate ones. There may be some raisin ones left
IT:is there somebody else I could talk to?
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