
[writers’ room for Silent Night]
MIKE: ok so the next line is about describing baby jesus. how would we describe a baby?
JIM [known cannibal]: so tender and mild
MIKE:…….jesus christ jim
[writers’ room for Silent Night]
MIKE: ok so the next line is about describing baby jesus. how would we describe a baby?
JIM [known cannibal]: so tender and mild
MIKE:…….jesus christ jim
I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.
They did not think through this water fountain
Why haven’t you introduced me to your followers yet? Are you ashamed of me?
Why can’t the T-Rex clap it’s hands? Because it’s extinct.
I was so anxious to social distance myself from my wife today that I went out and picked weeds in the yard.
I put a note in my kids lunchbox daily telling them that if they work really hard at school then one day we may be able to afford a sandwich
When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.
date: i had fun tonight
me: me too
me: *mashes mouth against one cheek & slowly drags it across their whole face*
me: that’s how slugs kiss
I accidentally inhaled some soap when I was washing my face and then I coughed and no bubbles came out. Cartoons are full of shit.