*rocks out at concert*
*holds up lighter*
*mass chaos, crying*
*one old guy high-fives me as I go down*
*gets taste of own medicine*
Yep this is my medicine
You Might Also Like
Shouldn’t octopus apendages be called eightacles?
[cop writing me a ticket]
me: cmon can you just give me a warning?
cop: sure *leans in* warning, you’re about to get a ticket
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it’s like they had those babies for nothing.
THERAPIST: tell me about your childhood
THE PREDATOR FROM ALIEN VS PREDATOR: well, when I was a child predator…
THERAPIST: ok, first let’s talk about phrasing
In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern.
BOSS: is your make up tattooed on?
ME: yeah it’s exhausting to have to put it on every single morning
BOSS: why a clown though
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get…well you know…
Doctor: This makes no sense. The ultrasound isn’t finding your baby
Wife: Haha, well I guess we know who he takes after
Waldo: *from behind a curtain* That’s my boy