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@flashember: [Giraffe Weatherman]
"Yes Bob, we have a major blizzard happening up here but
*giraffe lowers head*
on the ground we're still looking good."
@NOTVIKING: interviewer: so why do you want to be a driver for UPS
me: [thinking about the time they “accidentally” lost my package and how i’m going to “accidentally” lose one of their trucks] the benefits