Give a man a fish and he will think, “What a creepy gift.” Teach a man to fish and he will think, “My god, I have never known such boredom”

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I have an idea for a website where people seeking to share their views and ideas can get together and ignore each other.


We need to keep kids off drugs. It’s hard enough to find them without kids buying them too


My 8yo is watching a video of a guy watching a video of another guy flipping water bottles. Please pray for me during this difficult time.


I’ll bet Waldo owed some people money. You don’t get that good at hiding for no reason.


Hot Dads in ur Area Are Disappointed in ur Browser History Especially the One ur Watching Right Now With Midgets Dressed Like Dinosaurs


You might remember me from such productions as Skirt Tucked Into Pantyhose, or, Oh! You Weren’t Waving at Me.


In movies when people go underwater, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo.


Always hide you prescription bottles from your medicine cabinet so ppl don’t know how crazy you are. Also, you’re now out of xanax.