@DirtMcTurd

God I hate these crossword puzzles

Does anyone know a 3 letter word for “Father”?

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@mantej

Why would anyone ever think gay people tear apart the fabric of society? They love fabric.

@stockejock

Grandma, stop asking people what they’re supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.

@mjkspeaks

Maybe Jehovah’s Witnesses keep knock knock knocking because they’re looking for Heaven’s Door.

You don’t know.

@clifba

The voices in my head have been quiet for a while. They probably broke something.

@AbleLikes

People have ruined this planet and now they’re just like “Tag, you’re it!” to Mars.

@RodLacroix

One of the kids just asked for family game night like we weren’t already fed up with each other enough as it is

@hergorgeousmess

me : * dont let them know how awkward you are *

them : nice weather

me : thanks

@AlexErnst

crush: i really like music

me: *gets jealous of music and rips off crushes ears*