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I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission.

Who the hell is ‘Foreclosure’?


I got a message on Facebook that said, “Your a lawyer, right?”

Me, “*You’re.”

May have lost a new client but they learned something today.


Everyone who works in customer service should legally be allowed to fight one customer a year.


If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.


I often find myself singing in the shower, which can be extremely frightening. Is he a clone!? What is this place! SOMEBODY HELP ME.


My husband got me Alexa for Christmas, like I need another person in the house claiming they didn’t hear me.


Me: You have to do what I say cause I’m your Dad

8 y/o daughter: You sure?

Don’t know if she intended the ambiguity but that was savage