I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission.
Who the hell is ‘Foreclosure’?
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I got a message on Facebook that said, “Your a lawyer, right?”
May have lost a new client but they learned something today.
Everyone who works in customer service should legally be allowed to fight one customer a year.
A lion would probably call a Kenyan runner fast food.
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.
I often find myself singing in the shower, which can be extremely frightening. Is he a clone!? What is this place! SOMEBODY HELP ME.
People that are stoned shouldn’t throw glass houses.
My husband got me Alexa for Christmas, like I need another person in the house claiming they didn’t hear me.
If you ever want your phone to ring just try to take a nap, it’s science
Me: You have to do what I say cause I’m your Dad
8 y/o daughter: You sure?
Don’t know if she intended the ambiguity but that was savage