Got the invite to your wedding. Thanks! Sadly, your blatant overuse of illegible, ornate script fonts means I don’t know when or where it is

You Might Also Like


Break up by making swimming motion arms every time they want to hold hands.


The best revenge is living well. Starting after you murder the person who wronged you.


Tip for twitter newbies:

Before you start using twitter, please make sure this is really what you want to do with the rest of your life.



Satan: But-

Me: Jesus, what did I just say?!

Jesus: To be fair he did say not today


Takes approximately 7.5 seconds for #Adele to make you mourn a relationship that you weren’t even in.


DATE: so this is my dad and this is his porcelain cat collection
ME: wow, I feel like I’m in a
DATE: no
ME: mewseum
DAD: *nods his approval*


Giraffes only sleep 2 hours a day.
If reincarnation is real, fingers crossed that I don’t come back as a giraffe.


Sweat pants & Uggs in public says “and I didn’t brush my teeth, either.”