@MrsTomServo: Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.
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@InternetHippo: me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you…know how jobs work
@Rollinintheseat: Never play musical chairs against a person in a wheelchair. They will always beat you.
@AlexvanBeek: Lauren on Facebook asks: "What's the best way to ward off ghosts?" To which I replied: "a camera."
@DaddyJew: *sees gf upset* Me: she looks mad, I should say something Brain: lol tell her she's overreacting Me: ok