@aussiesdointhgs: When you have mixed feelings about bathtime

@meatlobes: *waits for you to fall asleep* *rolls out from under your bed* *moisturizes your knees and elbows*

@RadWizzy: "bob is coming over for dinner" "bob from work or bob who likes having sex with doors?" (loud banging on the front door)

@just1fool: He died doing what he loved. Harassing bear cubs.

@NorthWestSays: Drake Bell needs to call his child Taco.