Awake in the streets,
Asleep in the sheets.
Did I do that right? I don’t get it.
Guy who invented the piano: 200 hundred years from now it may need tuning but it will be sturdy. So sturdy.
His friend, who invented piano benches: the legs are designed for maximum wobble
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According to this box of cereal I am a family of 13 eating breakfast
Jason Statham is a reluctant thief with a heart of gold
PUNCH McEXPLODEY CAR MAN
*fade to black*
Pro: I will make you a gourmet meal.
Con: I will pronounce the t in gourmet.
The last apple tree in the world shrivels up and dies. In the distance a horde of doctors are ready.
[I time travel to 1998]
Guy: This is the first showing of Mulan, how does that dude in the front row already know the words to all the songs
“Is there a dull film on your dishes?”
Me: [looking closely] Holy shit is that The English Patient?
1) In the interest of time, would ye noble patriots please provide a list of infractions punishable by spontaneous public execution? Thanks!
My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup.