@Carbosly: Had I been Jesus, being invited to "The Last Supper" would've raised a few red flags.
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@jonnysun: HISTORIAN: im a historian ME: ah… so… wats ur favorite… uh… year HISTORIAN: oh, 1901 ME: ah yes… the year they discobvered the… 19th century
@theshamingofjay: A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents
@JennyJohnsonHi5: No matter how adorable you think your young son is, it's best you not refer to him as a "lady killer", it might end up being true.
@ArfMeasures: Bouncer: Your friends can go in but not you, you go home Me: Perfect, say it just like that when I turn up later