@OhNoSheTwitnt: Happy 18th birthday, millennium! Now that you’re an adult, please stop acting like an angsty teen and lashing out at us like we’re your parents.
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@Contwixt: "I need a timing belt & power steering for my life" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet.
@hellohappy_time: Welcome to Hypochondriac Club. First- oh, Kim looks a bit pale. Kim you shouldn't have come if you're sick. Now I feel pale do I look pale
@badteacher4u: I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :(