@UncleDuke1969: “Hello, yes, I’m going to need a tray of hors d’oeuvres delivered this Tuesday at noon to the blue Acura parked next to the dumpster behind the Kohl’s on 14th Street.”
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@Izianikapani: I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?
@mindintheshadow: I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017.
@FBSisnothere: When I hear the phrase "Freudian slip" I immediately imagine Sigmund in a revealing, yet tasteful nightgown. That can't be healthy.