
When beer and cheese isn’t the answer… Change the question
Hendrix didn’t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
When beer and cheese isn’t the answer… Change the question
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love sent to me 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying, 5 GOLD RINGS, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves & a partridge in a pear tree
Hope the dancing hasn’t made the ladies hungry; birds all eaten
Me to myself: don’t eat it you need to lose weight.
Also me: watch me eat this entire pizza.
“I’m light-headed. I just need to eat.”
-my excuse for everything
Open bottle, allow it to breathe. If it does not look like it’s breathing, give it mouth to mouth -Beer
When the KFC chicken grease starts haunting your arteries its called Poultry Geist.
[christmas]
BROTHER: [unwraps giant foam hulk hands] Awesome!
ME: [unwraps Mark Ruffalo hands] This sucks.
If you don’t boo at people after bad sex how do you expect them to ever get better?
Incredible news from Britain. This changes everything
*pronounces GIF like graphics interchange format*