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@ShortSleeveSuit: HER: do you own any firearms
ME [trying to impress]: no but I have some hot legs
HR:..87. Karen has lost 87 PERCENT VISION..
Me:..she looked at my cheese stick..
Me: *eats cheese stick*
@CauseWereGuys: Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol, one sec bro
@freshestginger: *Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book!
*Someone in the crowd yells "NERD"*
@Reverend_Scott: [stubs toe]
God: No problem, bro.
[toe goes to Hell]
@Darlainky: I forgot the term “gait” so I said the horse had a nice swagger.