Here’s a common scam that is going around that you should know about:
Sometimes cats will meow at you like they haven’t been fed, but in fact someone DID feed them and they’re just trying to get fed again
You Might Also Like
I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.
By Kate Hatos
[Boss hands me 12 pages of complaints about my smart-ass remarks]
Me: so I guess the whole “we’re going paperless” rules dont apply to you?
All underwear is edible if you aren’t a coward
I wouldn’t mind razor blades in my Halloween candy this year, they’re getting really expensive.
uber driver heard me singing along and changed the station…
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.
It’s been 536 days, 5hrs 16min since I’ve spoken to my ex, so clearly I’ve moved on.
This is top tier marketing 😂🤣
If you are going to make me scan my own groceries, give me an intercom too
Butter my backside and call me a biscuit.
crossbreed every type of dog until all you’re left with is an everything beagle
In retrospect, “Metallica” is a hilarious name for a metal band.
It’s like a Bob Dylan calling himself “Ol’ Folksy.”
I’m only dating bad texters from here on out.
Who knew life could be so quiet and….peaceful.
[Commercial]
*Camera focuses on a man choking on a whole apple*
Narrator: “If only there was a better way?”
[On Screen Caption]
TEETH
just gave my 5yo power of attorney
White guy in horror movie: I think we should split up.
Me, antisocial: Solid move, Thad.
Lower your expectations.
Lower yet.
Keep going.
There.
Hi, I’m Nancy!
Him: I love you to the moon.
Me: And back?
Him: Shhh, let’s just get you to the moon.
Smoking will kill you. Bacon is bad for you.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
Eating fruit loops out of a plastic baggy on the train and nodding at a baby doing the same thing.
me to the government: no broo I swear I don’t make that much money i promise you bro 😭 😬
me to my landlord: I make so much money big dog you know I’m good for it just let me live here bro you don’t have to worry about me fr I promise 😤🤝
If you just hang in there life gets really good by episode 4000
Idea: Like Google Glass, but a necklace or something that projects a website onto the face of the person talking to you.
Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.
There are many reasons relationships don’t work out.
DIstance should never be one of them.
You want them?
Go get them Xxx
Dumbo sounds like a good idea until you think about how much poop a flying elephant would drop
Not to brag but growing up my boys thought a unanimous decision meant whatever mom wants.
“My lawyer will have me out in an hour.”
I finally got my 11yo interested in a sport, and all it took was hiring a pretty 16yo girl to coach him.