@om_eye_goodness: Hey baby, are you climate change? Cuz I believe in you.
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@FeelingEuphoric: WINDOWS: update? :) ME: I can’t WINDOWS: later? :) ME: I don’t know if I— WINDOWS: pwease? :) ME: fine, later tho WINDOWS: *immediately restarting* oops :)
@afbradstone: Today I heard a guy on the street say, "It's chowder season, baby!" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
@sarcasticmommy4: I’m so glad my kids have a 3-day weekend because that means I get an extra day of listening to them yell at Fortnite.