I prefer science to religion, as the former doesn’t seem to grow vengeful and jealous when refused attention.
Hey Law & Order, please stop throwing around the word semen all willy-nilly, I’m trying to watch this with my mom
You Might Also Like
Kylo Ren: Hey, why is my paycheck so low?
General Hux: Damages. Maybe you should stop throwing temper tantrums with your lightsaber.
At some point, you’d think there’d be a governmental inquiry into the excessively high escape rate of Gotham City’s penitentiaries.
Heimlich: Would it help if I gave you a hug?
*Skynet becomes self aware*
*Starts a blog*
Party Cat & Scaredy Cat
*tucks napkin into my shirt*
This meal could get messy.
[1st day in Senate]
Me: I’m against genetic engineering
Scientist: We’ve developed kids w/ volume knobs
Me: How much funding do you need
Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say “I love you,” she’s talking to our dog.