@Cheeseboy22: Hey morons, when in doubt, just spell it "theiyr're."
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@ArfMeasures: Me: I was watching Sixth Sense when my house got burgled Cop: Ok tell me everything that happened [10 mins later] Cop: holy shit he was dead the whole time?!
@SoulYodeler: Yes I am 45, male and love cats. Recently I posted a selfie. It could be worse though, right? Hello?
@iwearaonesie: wife: The school called. Guess why? [flashback to me telling my son every answer on his math homework was 69] me: Why?