hot sauce is okay but what i’m really looking for is a rich older sauce that will help me pay off my student loan

You Might Also Like


Dogs are “practice babies” and cats are “practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with.”


A cute girl with brilliance is the best thing in the world that doesn’t have cheese on it

Wait couldn’t I just put the che

Mother of god


[the first ever boomerang]

HIM: Get rid of it
ME [scared] I can’t


ME EVREY MORNIG: nonono no noNO no NONO NO!!!

ME EVREY NIGHT: u know wat wil make my morning amazing?! setting my favorite song as my alarm


almost 22 years ago 2 people had sex and now i have to go to work everyday


Condiments that would be cute baby names:

Tabasco (Tabby for short)
Honey Mustard


the correct way to spell “hats” is HATS because it’s all caps


Your friends will stand by you even when you’re at your worst because people are stupid


What can I get you to drink?
Is Peps- Uh one moment please
[In kitchen, to manager]
I don’t know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?