So, when people say “LOLZ”, does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WANT TO KNOW IF YOU REALLY PLAN ON WEARING THAT
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*on death bed*
priest: any regrets my child?
*montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn’t try to ride it*
The hardest part of raising kids is learning to let them go…
Especially when they’re 19 and STILL can’t remember to flush a toilet.
Maybe this lady is trying to perpendicular park.
I want “Diet starts tomorrow” written on my tombstone.
*Ex wife yelling at me from driveway*
I HOPE YOU DIE A LONG AND PAINFUL DEATH!
Me- no babe I’m not moving back in
Yeah I’m married, but get one thing straight, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanfdsskk THIS IS SHAUN’S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
Unfortunate story layout on Apple News this morning.
I told my husband that instead of leaving his dirty dishes on the counter, he should leave them in 1952 so a nice housewife cleans them up.
My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises.