@SamuelHLowe: How do you say "No, I'm full" in Grandmother?
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@Brampersandon_: [leaving a party] HOST (holding 2 identical coats): which is urs ME: does 1 have a corn dog in its pocket H: ya M (suspiciously): mine had 2
@ohen39: doctor: [handing me my new born baby] I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it me: [handing baby back to him] bring me the one my wife made
@Meldiesattheend: If watermelon exist why doesn't earthmelon,firemelon and airmelon? The elemelons.
@ultimatesteve: *phone rings* Wife: Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me: *dresses baby up in Superman costume & duct tapes him to ceiling fan* Wife - "....""