Annoys me when I’m typing my reply and someone starts typing like you see those 3 bubbles and I’m just like no excuse me wait your turn thanks
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I’ve accepted that I’ll never know how that M+ button on a calculator works.
– My new boss. He’s very deciduous”
– Nope. I carved him from a potted tree.
*squirrel peeks out of his mouth*
Today’s 3-year-olds can unlock the smartphone and launch favorite app or music player.
What did I do in my 3-year-old? I ate sand.
going to tell my kids this was benjamin franklin
Anyone realize Dora is always lost every episode? Why is their no Amber alert for her? Is it because she’s Mexican?
So far, I’ve gotten away with passing as an adult again today.
I don’t chase guys unless I have my inhaler with me.
That awkward moment when you walk in on your sons having a yo momma insult contest.
I want a girl with a short fuse and a straitjacket.